No Irish Need Apply


I'm a decent boy just landed 
From the town of Ballyfad; 
I want a situation, yes, 
And want it very bad. 
I have seen employment advertised, 
It's just the thing, says I, 
But the dirty spalpeen ended with
'No Irish Need Apply.'  

Whoa, says I, "that's an insult, 
But to get the place I'll try," 
So I went to see the blackguard 
With his "No Irish Need Apply." 
Some do count it a misfortune 
To be christened Pat or Dan, 
But to me it is an honor 
To be born an Irishman. 

I started out to find the house, 
I got it mighty soon; 
There I found the old chap seated, 
He was reading the Tribune. 
I told him what I came for, 
When he in a rage did fly, 
No! he says, "You are a Paddy, 
And no Irish need apply." 

Then I gets my dander rising 
And I'd like to black his eye 
To tell an Irish gentleman 
No Irish Need Apply. 
Some do count it a misfortune 
To be christened Pat or Dan, 
But to me it is an honor 
To be born an Irishman. 

I couldn't stand it longer 
So a hold of him I took, 
And gave him such a welting 
As he'd get at Donnybrook. 
He hollered, "Milia murther," 
And to get away did try, 
And swore he'd never write again 
No Irish Need Apply. 

Well he made a big apology, 
I told him then goodbye, 
Saying, "When next you want a beating,
Write `No Irish Need Apply.' " 
Some do count it a misfortune 
To be christened Pat or Dan, 
But to me it is an honor 
To be born an Irishman.

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